Don't Let the Vagina Fool You

Spare me the spin about "Maverick" John McCain's character. His VP choice, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, is not a bold pick by a straight-shooter. It's a spineless pick aimed directly at appeasing the evangelical fascists Republican "base."

Palin is a surprising pick, yes. But bold? Please. She is a knee-jerk conservative who breaks with the party line exactly nowhere that I can see (though her record is so astonishingly short that it's tough to know for sure). So anyone labeling her a bold or unusual pick needs to get past the GILF angle and her geographical background (oooh, Alaska!) and smell the moose droppings.

The fact is that Palin is an anti choice, pro gun, anti same-sex marriage, creationist evangelical who is for big oil, has supported Pat Buchanan, and who does not believe humans have played a role in climate change. She plays to the base in the sort of way that must make Karl Rove's naughty bits tingle, and is indicative of precisely how exclusive and narrow their party platform (more of a plank, really) has become. I can only imagine George Bush dreams about giving her his patented beach volleyball style fanny pats.

She's a committed familyist, a devout reader of only the second half of the second amendment, and though she is churchly, I presume she does not support, say, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. She's ultra-white, younger than McCain (but aren't we all?), and has model-perfect teeth. She's a slightly hotter, less experienced Mitt Romney or even Tim Pawlenty. End of story.

The time is right for a woman VP, or president for that matter. Part of me would like to have seen Obama pick Hillary as VP (but what to do with Bill?). But after the tough primaries, it would have smacked of tokenism as much as McCain's pick. Face it, he didn't pick her for her null foreign policy experience, or to deliver the Alaska vote; he picked her, apparently, to deliver the disgruntled Hillary vote.

Admittedly, McCain is shrewd to pick a woman, but this woman? He showed no love for Condi (though, frankly, I don't have any love for her either) or Kay Bailey Hutchison. They must have been too close to center on abortion. Surely, at the very least, he could have done a better job of vetting his pick.

But no, and so here she is. For all intents and purposes, Dan Quayle with breasts (as she reminds us).

In fact, Dan Quayle may even have been more qualified as VP. (Hell, Michael Palin might be more qualified.) Palin has been a governor for all of a year and a half. Before that, she was the mayor in a town of ~7,000. Before that, a pageant girl. Where I live, that sort of résumé points to a possibly successful campaign for city alderman (and where one's constituency would be much larger than 7,000). Not, mind you, a comb-over away from the US presidency.

"Country First: Reform, Prosperity, Peace" is their campaign's lofty motto.

"Reform"? In addition to the fact that Sarah Palin is already (in her brief gubernatorial term) under investigation for abuse of power, we have further evidence that a McCain-Palin White House would be every bit as controlling and galling as the Bush-Cheney White House (possibly with an equal chance of a VP shooting a hunting buddy in the face!).

"Prosperity"? Well, certainly Cindy McCain has prospered. But I just don't see hubby John raising her taxes for the good of the lower and middle class.

"Peace"? John McCain? Read his lips, as he is fine with leaving American troops in Iraq for the next 100 years (or even, he later amended, 10,000).

So, disgruntled Hillaristas will have to be blind to all but anatomy to vote for a McCain-Palin ticket. With the balance of the Supreme Court teetering, it's an awful one for women even more so than men, and McCain's VP choice must be seen as what it is: a pandering, doddering, impulsive and wreckless misstep — the sort that has typified the Bush II administration, and the first of what will be legion, if elected — by a once-likable "straight-talk[ing]" guy who has arguably lost his game, his independence, and his spine.

It is clear (as it must be, when noted confidently by John Kerry) that "maverick" McCain would utterly despise the new McCain version '08, whoring himself like this. The more centrist candidate he was in 2000 actually made me think for a few moments back then that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for him to win the presidency. Indeed, back in 2000–01, it would not have — because as it happens, the worst thing in the world did happen. And here we are, dealing with the consequences of those eight painfully long years.

As that Ultimate Mistake-in-Chief himself has put it — in his inimitable, ineloquent, misquoted way — we won't get fooled again. So, open your eyes. And don't let the vagina fool you. Sarah Palin is a moralist neo-con in news anchor's clothing. And John McCain is the guy who hand-picked her.

Comments

[Pat]

And STILL people want to vote for McCain-Palin. The appeal escapes me. The potential that they would lead the country makes me shudder. Are the American people really so dim?

[sanjuro]

While I agree with what you say about both McCain and Palin, I must disagree with your criticism of her as a VP choice. I think it's a semi-inspired Hail Mary. And let's face it, McCain needs to take risks. Palin could help him solve his biggest problem: an unenthused conservative republican base. They are unexcited by McCain but they are so close to taking the supreme court that they are looking for an excuse, any excuse, to vote for him. For them, this is great because it puts an experienced die-hard conservative behind a 71 year old president. If McCain dies, they pretty much get Bush back. She has the added credibility of being a reformer who bucked her own party, reinforcing McCain's independent image. Palin might also be attractive to some small portion of idiots who will vote for the ticket simply because there is a woman on it. Never mind that he would never have picked her if Hillary had been chosen for the Dems. And then there is the side benefit of being able to make jokes like "Who do you want to look at for the next four years, Joe Biden or Sarah Palin?". And the whole pregnant daughter thing? Since when have Republicans ever shied away from hypocrisy (Chenney's gay daughter for instance)? I can just see the talking points now: she stands for conservatism, small but honest government, and family values even through the tough times. And she happens to look good doing it!

Some of the reasons we think she is horrible are the very reasons that she could be good for the McCain ticket.

[BK]

Nice comments, Sanjuro. Here's the thing though, as this piece from the right-leaning Wall Street Journal makes quite well; their base is so narrow that appealing to the base just doesn't cut it anymore (tip of the meaty hoof to astute reader Heinz57 for the WSJ piece):

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122031917132389387.html

McCain Needs to Widen Base
By Gerald F. Seib

The good news for Republicans is that Gov. Sarah Palin seems to be exciting the previously, and famously, unexcited Republican Party base.

The bad news is that an excited base is necessary but insufficient for Republicans to win this year. To prevail, Sen. John McCain has to reach beyond the base vote that was sufficient to win the last two presidential races.

Thus, the fundamental gamble Sen. McCain took in picking Gov. Palin as his running mate is that she can both excite the base and reach well beyond it. If she can't, the gamble won't succeed.

The stakes in ...

[Full article w/WSJ subscription, or email me and I can send you the full text. --BK]

P.S. In other words, "All but their base are belong to us."

[sanjuro]

On a totally different note, I think Tina Fay would be able to do a killer impersonation of Ms. Palin. Someone aught to suggest it to her.

[BK]

Here she is, Ms. Tina Fey. And spot on: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/