Why Life Should Be More Like Hockey

The NHL started up play again this week, so I, and millions like me, now have a distraction from the media onslaught (yes, in my small way, I'm part of the problem) surrounding our national division decision. And thank god.

One-time Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero best explained the Life-Hockey relationship when he said, "Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death. Life is just a place where we spend time between games." Freddy the Fog was right about a lot of things, and he had this one right too. For those of us who live in The Game, here is why we wish this admittedly difficult business of "life" could be more like hockey.

In hockey:

• Grownups, not just kids, are encouraged to take naps.
• There's no crying over minor injuries. Or even major ones. When you get hit in the mouth, you spit out a tooth and move on.
• Salaries are good for the average Joe, but not disproportionally obscene for the superstars.
• You fight it out with someone over mild disagreements, then shake hands afterward and not hold grudges. There's no hair pulling or tantrums, just "You wanna go?"
• Heavyweights fight heavyweights, middleweights fight middleweights, goalies fight goalies. There are few mismatches. No Hutus versus Tutsis. No Russia versus Georgia. No US versus long-embargoed nations. No John Wensink versus the entire Minnesota North Stars bench. Break the code and you get sat on. End of story.
• There are set rules, with ample referees and linesmen on hand to discuss disputes and ensure fair play.
• Hard work pays off.
• There's accountability. Continued incompetence doesn't get you a raise, or another four years in office.

Hockey's simple. It's not easy, but it is simple. Would that we could say the same of everyday life. Or even this goddamn election.

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[Hockey Jerseys]

"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?" - Jacques Plante.

[hockey equipment]

The first games were played nine to a side, using a square rubber puck. The first team, known as the McGill University Hockey Club, was formed in 1880, and the game was later introduced in Ottawa.