People! It is once again the season for stand-up philosophy, bald-faced prognostication, and linguistic prestidigitation. Herewith, the only hot list you'll ever need this year — in alphabetical order for easy reference.
Take this with a grain of salt at your own peril. Last year's predictions proved entirely correct!
|Out (so 2012)||In (so 2013)|
|5-hour energy||6-hour energy|
|6-minute abs||5-minute abs|
|"Call Me Maybe"
||please, don't call me
|Channing Tatum||Jack Tatum|
|Downton Abbey||"Downtown Train"|
|Fifty Shades of Grey||Several Shades of Why
|the "fiscal cliff"||a series of small fiscal ledges|
|Frank Ocean||Billy Ocean|
|Higgs Boson||Higgs bosom|
|hipster fedoras||lemming fedoras|
|irony||sarcasm (irony on even-numbered years; sarcasm on odd)|
||dear god, how long can this go on?
|mustaches (see also, irony)
|Mumford and Sons||Mummenschanz
|NBA geek chic||NB'80s|
|NHL||sad white noise on our TV sets
|Obamacare||Just kidding. Sorry, suckers. Not going anywhere.|
|Quora||Remember when your favorite teacher told you there are no dumb questions? Well, there are. And they're mostly on Quora.|
||the next climate-change-driven superstorm|
|stand-up paddleboarding||just sit down already, and get a kayak|
|TED talks||Ted Williams|
|the radio star||video|
|Zero Dark Thirty
||zero dark forty-five|
There you have it! Be safe out there this year, people.