One-Offs
You know how sometimes you have an original idea that seems impossibly brilliant — and then in retrospect it turns out to be admittedly brilliant, but completely unoriginal? And then other times the idea is in fact original, but is utter nonsense? Still other times, despite your best intentions, the idea is neither brilliant nor original.
Fifteen years ago I started referring to the occasional crazy folk as being "a few fries short of a Happy Meal." I was pretty sure I made up that expression. And then shortly thereafter, I come to hear a guy saying the same on the radio. Now, either I had a brilliant moment of anonymous lexical originality that the world picked up on, or — you know — I just never registered the saying, and co-opted it. We'll never know which.
All this to say that from time to time, we'll run a new feature here at The Weekly Meat — something I like to call stand-up philosophy.
Occasionally, I think in bumper-sticker aphorisms, and I'm not quite sure what to do with all of these seemingly pithy bits littering my notebooks except post them up here for widespread rumination, comment, lampooning, whatever.
Herewith, a few one-offs:
- Life is meat; TV is sausage.
- Power is a raw egg in the hand.
- Travel is an exercise in adaptation.
- If I am a part of all I've met, I must be getting bigger.
- Half of life is showing up — the other half is having the right tools.
- Getting old is falling asleep with your glasses on.
- Certainty: Eight people still always die in Hamlet.
And for you skiers out there, I've been wanting to make the following t-shirt for years:
POWDER TO THE PEOPLE! NO JUSTICE, NO PISTE!
Now if you find any of this the least bit quotable, be sure to properly attribute. After all, I'd hate to find myself in ten years muttering and destitute, while passersby wag their heads disapprovingly and speak under their breath about Happy Meals.
